because i believe

i choose to believe that every human is kind.
爱真的需要勇气，来面对流言蜚语

took another MC to rest at home today. i guess it must be because i walked too much the past few days so my ankle swelled so badly last night. but the swell has gone down quite a bit. hopefully another day of rest today, my ankle will be much better so that i can resume work tomorrow.

i like it when people are nice, i like people who are nice. but when people are nice, i feel scared. are they really being nice? or are they just putting up an act?

monster called me in the morning. i think i will have some interesting stories to hear from his this weekend. :) he didnt sound good, probably still sick but we didnt have much time to talk. i hope he'll be fine. but its weird; because even so, i still can feel him missing me, even though he doesnt say it out. i think there is no need to spell out our feelings, because it can be felt just by the heart. i should be taking good care of myself so that he will not worry about me.

真的爱不用伪装，不用强求
很轻松就会懂爱的人看着我，想什么

:(

my ankle is still swollen. in fact i feel that it is back to lik day 1 when i sprained it. now the top not much swollen alr. can see a bit of my veins alr, which is a gd thing. but the ankle thr is still big big popping out. i hate the feeling. past 2 days i feel alright alr. is only when my foot is in the toes pointing down position then i feel pain, which is when walking down the stairs. then also if i walk a bit too much or too long or if i suddenly accidentally exert too much force/energy on it, then will got a very sharp pain for some time but it will go away once i sit down or rest my foot. but now the feeling is different.

put flat on the floor pain. walk normally pain. lift up feel like smth is pulling my ankle down. without moving it also pain. sometimes feel v tight, sometimes feel v loose. but since jensen say its ok for a first time sprain, then i hope it really is ok bah. have to see doc tmr agn, money fly away agn. this month spend so much on medical fees. must slap myself alr. im so scared. worst thing is, i always have monster to acc me and tk care of me. whr is my monster? i want my monster. :(

but monster is not having a gd time either. he's sick, poor dear. weather's kinda bad. i hope he recover soon. i wonder what i can do or get fr him during the weekends to mk him feel better.

blogging at work.

In the very first place, I don't like people who don't even know me, to talk about me. They want to blog hop, then jolly well keep their mouth shut and keep their comments about others to themselves. What's the point of judging people and pin-pointing people in their blog when they are not even involved or not even supposed to make any comments about others' lives, thoughts, feelings & words? Why are they being such busybody?

And why do people blog for people to read? For me, I don't blog for anyone. This blog is meant for my eyes, my thoughts, my feelings. I blog for myself. Because I like to type out my thoughts & I don't care if anyone reads as long as they keep their bloody comments to themselves and mind their own business. Seriously, humans can complain this, complain that, about their life, work, society, everything! Humans can complain how busy they are, how stupid this is, how stupid that is, how little these things are to them, so "boliao" and yet they can come and busybody about others' lives and what they think, what they feel and what they blog about. Then they will say this person blog like that very what what what and go yada yada about this and that about how they think people should not type like this and why they do this and why they do that. If they don't read what they don't like to read, won't it make their lives easier?

If Person A wants to know about Person B, then Person A should ask Person B. Why must Person A ask Person C who is a friend of Person B? Like example if someone wants to know about me, then the person should ask me and not ask my friend or even best friend what. So what if we are friends or best friends? My friends are not me. My best friend is not me.

Then if someone wants to know about my relationship between me and my boyfriend, then the person should ask me or my boyfriend and not ask my friends or even my best friend what. So what if we are friends? So what if she is my best friend? I am not dating her. How in the world would she know about my relationship?

I am proud of my relationship so I talk about how we love each other, what we do, how happy we are spending time together, how we are ALWAYS together because that's what comes into my head, thats what I feel, thats what I think; and I blog what I think about and how I feel. There is no reason to boast to other people about how happy my relationship is or try to add salt to wounds of people who don't have a relationship or who don't have a happy relationship what. If in your head you only have this perception, then I think you gotta do something to change that. Everybody who has a relationship should be proud of it. People who are not in a relationship should feel positive about it and love might be just around the corner. As for people who are not in a happy relationship, then do something about it and work it out together or just let go and search for your own happiness. What is wrong about people writing about their feelings? What is wrong about people penning down their loves and feelings? We are all human beings, I am a human being too. I too have feelings. I can't show it? I can't show my feelings by writing them down? By penning down my thoughts? For me to reminisce? Frankly, I read my archives almost like 3 times a week.

I will not change the way I blog or stop blogging or stop talking about anything that anyone don't like, here. I'll continue writing like I used to. Because that is what my blog is to me. And I am not trying to tell my readers anything and I am not getting any message across to them. I don't even say like "sorry for the lack for updates/sorry for not updating" or "dear/hi readers" or "stay tuned for updates/pictures". I got ask anyone to read meh?

And, who doesn't curse and swear? I think everybody should ask themselves that. Don't tell me you never curse anyone before? Don't tell me you never swear at anyone before? I curse at people because I believe they will get retribution in future, for what they do/are doinghave done. I also will have my retribution. So I don't steal people's handphones or keep it like it's mine. Because I don't want my things to be stolen. Everybody is selfish one lah. Is only the extent. I am very selfish lor I think. My heart also very small. Because I cannot tolerate some actions and I will just say. I don't care about other people's feelings. I don't care what will people think about what I write or what will happen to them. Not because I don't care about the consequences. Is they got think about other people's feelings before they care about their own or not? You don't want that to happen to you, you don't do it. You want to do it, then don't be afraid to let people know or say.

Hating is actually very tiring. Need to use brain cells and your heart and blood and energy and everything. I only know I currently HATE my leg nia. I am still limping! I also kinda HATE work. Because I HATE waking up early. Walao.. Wake up when the sky is not even bright yet and by the time I knock off, sky also turn dark alr. I don't get to enjoy the sunlight man! Weekends are my only happy times. Talking about weekends, its approaching! Means I'm seeing my monster soon. Yay!

I won't say monster and I will be together forever. But I will love him for as long as I can and as long as I have a heart, it will always be full of love for him. He is not the perfect man for me, but I am contented with what I have. Monster has been so nice. And his calls in the morning made my days. His voice is like my energy breakfast! I feel so full of energy and motivation to come to work and embrace every day! But of course still got unwilling to go to work lah. But like bff says, if Monday don't come, Tuesday won't come too. So I must look forward to everyday because every day means every next day is coming!

But even though I am so happily in love right now and immensed in the pool of happiness, I do wonder how long we'll last. But monster gives me the confidence to hold on. And we will hold on for as long as we can because he says we can work it out together and not make it end. Let's work hard together. I love you just the way you are. <3

Shit, I just lied. I don't just hate my leg and hate waking up early to work today. I hate somebody too. I wonder if that person will bring screwdriver to screw me. Don't know if screw is provided in the package. Cause I don't know where to buy screw at my workplace.


With lots of love.
For my monster only! :)

i love monsters

my darling is a monster, only him & i knows why. i couldnt slp last night coz i couldnt get used to slping without him after spending almost 3d2n frm fri evening to sunday evening. every time have to watch him leave, have to part every sunday, heartbreaking. i know we'll pull thru. even until now, im still trying to get used to it. don understand why thr are ppl who give up halfway and brk up w the guys while they are serving ns. they are having a hard time too. of course we will pull thru. coz i miss him & i know he is missing me too. bmt must b damn tough. :(

ankle's xray report was out this afternoon. nurse called me and said results normal, so i guess no prob. but idk why after 1 week it still hurts. i still cant walk down the stairs properly and it still hurts a lot once i start walking a little dist. plus standing on trains and buses, have to balance on my right leg. i hope it recovers soon. cant wait to go kite flying w the monster. today i jump into the train at bv station. coz the ppl alighting so i had to w8 for them to come out then i can board. but the stupid driver so fast press door closing, i go in half only the door close! i jumped in and i forgot abt my ankle for a second and ouch. super sharp pain for lik 5 mins before it starts to go off a lil bit. :(

love is all around.
i am in love, she is in love, he is in love, they are in love. we're all in love. love's wonderful! love is in the air! we love to love! & i love my monster darling! <3

<3

life's good. darling booked out on thurs night cause of new recruits enlisting on fri. damn happy, glad he can have more rest at home - more decent rest. spent 2 nights w him, damn happy too. :) shopping yesterday, got black pants & sandals. i love u darling, thanks for shopping w me. <3

ankle's still swollen, i wonder when it will heal. so i still cant wear shoes from e time being.

shrek?

visited the sinseh again today w jiahui. the sinseh said lots of stuff, which i forgot almost immediately. because i was too occupied being scared while she was pushing and pulling my foot and twisting here and there. now jiahui says my left foot looks like shrek's. its still swollen. :( i wish darling was here.

virgin sprain cont'd

so i went to visit the sinseh this morning and let her rub my swollen ankle. pain until i was sobbing away and she was shocked when she heard im alr working. ahh im sucha joke. i seriously hate leg injuries.

i miss darling so much. everything reminds me of him. actually 3y3m is not long, also not very short. but i must say, he's given me a different and better feeling these weeks and makes me feel loved constantly. i know i've made the right choice then.

p/s: get well soon to jiahui & myself. :)

i never wanna say goodbye

happy 3 years & 3 months lover!
i am so proud to have you. :)

a pity my man is in camp. but we sort of had a mini celebration plus dating on saturday. just him & i. :) even though we're not together, our hearts connect! i know he's missing me as much as im missing him. i love you every day!


also, happy birthday to yong quan!
a pity i couldnt join in any celebrations or go anywhere tomorrow thanks to my sprain and currently swelling toes! my left foot is hard one lor! i hate this feeling. am i gonna die? & the worst thing is, my man's not around to take care of me. so used to having him even if the sky topples. miss you lover.


Edit: i wonder if darling is wearing enough to sleep. the weather's quite chilly tonight & he was drenched just now. i hope he doesnt fall sick. i miss him so much. feel so uneasy without him around because my leg really hurts and he had always been with me no matter what happened to me in the past.

i never wanna say goodbye
cause i never wanna see you cry
i swear to share your joy and your pain
& i'll swear it all over again and

i never wanna treat you bad
cause i never wanna see you sad
i swore to you my love would remain
& i'll swear it all over again

first sprain in 20 years

i sprained my left ankle. :( was walking down the stairs, very slowly alr! i missed one step and crack~ my virgin sprain. i hate it when it comes to leg injuries. hard to walk and painful. i rather get migraine and nausea again. which was what i got on friday night. damn scary. i think my body is quite weak. plus aging? cause when i sprained my leg and standing still there trying to figure out whether i really sprained or not, i felt like my hearing was weird again. like last week, as if something covering my ears and stuck inside. but awhile later its okay. i wonder whats wrong.

nevertheless, i enjoyed my weekends spent with darling. we caught ice age 3 last night. it was damn funny. i couldnt stop laughing. i think the guy next to me also irritated by my laughters. should watch it, its nice and funny. darling got an armani jacket. something like a hoody but the hood isnt really a hood. =x but whatever. its nice and 30% off. he's happy, so am i. :)

morning went to report his loss of handphone, had mac breakfast and went ntuc for shopping. OMG just typing this i just remembered i left my spin wheels at his place. as in, the titbit that looks like a wheel. aw man. but anyway yeah. we got lots of food and we're so happy! met up w his friends for awhile at botak jones and yup. hope to see them soon again w darling. :) he's on his way to book in now. the 1 week of waiting starts again. but it will pass very quickly. for me lah. for him its slow. but i know he can make it. :) see you soon love.

my heart shattered into million pieces when i watched him run across the streets under the heavy rain while all i can do is sit there with my damn sprained ankle and watch him go. im sorry, to always give you trouble when you are busy.