every single word in this entry is extracted from the magazine and none made up or edited by me.
The Language of Love
What is your love language? And does your other half speaks the same emotional language? Couples who don't communicate in the same lingo may face problems with their relationships.
Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express your love in "English", if your spouse understands only "Chinese", you will never understand how to love each other.
In seeking to best meet each other's needs, a couple will have to overcome some differences. Every one of us communicates and feels loved in various ways. If your spouse does not understand how you prefer to be loved and tries to show it through other ways, you may mistakenly conclude that he or she is not loving. So understanding each other's love languages provides a greater measure of success in building a positive relationship.
And while every one has a primary love language, your love language can feature a combination of different languages too. It is therefore useful to learn to 'speak' all five.
1. QUALITY TIME
In a nutshell: This means spending time and doing activities with your spouse.
How it helps: It helps bring a couple closer to each other. In the course of spending quality time, you will also share your innermost thoughts and experiences with your spouse. It also often allows one to listen, respond and advise the other.
Action plan: Have a quick conversation while seated on the couch every evening. It allows you to catch up with each other about the day.
2. ACTS OF SERVICE
In a nutshell: Providing a service to your spouse can be an expression of your love. It can be a simple act such as taking out the trash or doing the vacuuming for the week.
How it helps: Acts of service means you must humble yourself into taking on tasks not expected of you. Carry out these acts with love, not obligation. Nonetheless, both husband and wife should also find out what acts of service each other appreciates most. This will help ensure a happy relationship.
Action plan: If you know your husband hates washing the bathroom, offer to take over for this weekend. If your wife has been working overtime in the office, take the initiative to walk to dog in the evening even though it is her turn to do so.
3. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
In a nutshell: Verbal compliments can make a person feel loved.
How it helps: Although each statement sounds relatively simple, it goes a long way to support your spouse in overcoming insecurities and developing greater confidence.
Action plan: If the dress she is wearing highlights her fair complexion, tell her so – “You look great in that dress!” And if you feel his opinion helped inspire new perspectives on a problem, thank him.
4. RECEIVING & GIVING GIFTS
In a nutshell: For some, gifts are a tangible symbol of their spouse’s love.
How it helps: A visible sign of your love will help your spouse feel happy and secure in the marriage. It also indicates that you are willing to invest your money in deepening the relationship.
Action plan: Instead of buying presents for your spouse, tap into your creativity. Sometimes, free or inexpensive gifts work just as well.
5. PHYSICAL TOUCH
In a nutshell: Many parts of the body are sensitive to stimulation, so physical contact can be comforting.
How it helps: Sexual intercourse can make many feel secure and loved in a marriage. In a crisis, a hug communicates tremendous love for a spouse.
Action plan: Take time to find out and touch your spouse the way she likes it, whether it is a back rub, a peck on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder.
"Marriage is a good learning ground for everyone because the highs are wonderful and the lows can be worked out. If you ask me, marriage is not the finishing line, it's just the beginning." - Wong Li-Lin
0 comments:
Post a Comment