Just married: Part 2

-Extracted from the magazine, Just Married
every single word in this entry is extracted from the magazine and none made up or edited by me.

HE SAYS, SHE SAYS

It’s a fact that men and women have different approaches in communication, so working around such gender differences is the first step towards understanding your spouse better.

1. ATTITUDE TOWARDS RELATIONSHIP
Men are more task-oriented and prefer to get down to business first. Women establish relationships before completing tasks.
Recommended: Men want to know what is required to be done, so it is important for women to spell out exactly what is being discussed and what needs to be done.

2. PROCESSING INFORMATION
Men process information internally until they come to a decision. Women process information out loud, which is often mistaken as a sign of weakness by many men.
Recommended: Men must understand that women do not always want a solution – they simple want a listening ear. Women must tell men the response you need before sharing the problem, so they understand whether they have to come up with a solution or just listen.

3. LEADERSHIP STYLE
Men are hierarchical when it comes to decision making. This could apply in a marriage where the husband charges ahead with a decision on big issues without consulting the wife. Women, on the other hand, are more relationship-oriented and usually consult the widely before making any major decisions.
Recommended: Men should discard their egoistic leadership style when they get home. Women need to take over more often and consultations should be kept between the couple, not the extended family.

4. COMMUNICATION STYLE
Men think that nodding indicates agreement; staying in neutral body language means he is listening and direct eye contact as a challenge. Women think that nodding indicates she is listening; staying in neutral body language means she is bored and direct eye contact as a way to establish a connection.
Recommended: Men have to learn to search for clues beyond words and pick up non-verbal clues. Women have to learn to specify what you need in order for the men to understand your needs.

5. CONVERSATION STYLE
Men use conversation to assert their opinion and provide advice and information, so they use short and direct sentences. Women use conversation to create rapport and relationship.
Recommended: Men have to try to bring the women’s focus back to the point of discussion. For example, if she brings up a fight you had last year, tell her that you have discussed that already. Women should use simple, declarable sentences and state what you want when sharing important information with men.

6. ARTICULATING IDEAS
Men talk and interrupt more than women. Women tend to try to make sure there is equality during a discussion.
Recommended: Men should learn to limit your propensity to talk and spend time listening to women. Women should learn to express your opinions without allowing yourself to be cut off.

ME: reading the above made me realize some mistakes that i committed in the past and even now, still. but there are also some that darling did or did not do. so, i believe there is room for improvement for the both of us to improve our relationship because in the end, no relationship and no one is perfect. every one has to learn. but well, its up to yourself to want or not want to believe the extract from the magazine. it may not apply to all, right?